Anger Management

It can stem from feelings of frustration, hurt, annoyance or even disappointment. Sometimes displeasure, hostility or antagonism towards someone or something, usually combined with an urge to harm. It is a complex emotion and when released improperly, it can have devastating effects on the party on the receiving end regardless if the party is a mere object, or person. Once someone is placed on that end, it is not unusual that they may want to escape the violent encounter. Not everyone is a natural born fighter. And then there are others†¦ The ones who become defensive. More often than not, these people stop listening or counter attack. Whether you run away or choose to fight, none of these results in any type of resolution whatsoever and most of the time sows more bad feelings that creep up behind us later on in life. Anger is a very natural emotion that is experienced by all people. Everyone with proper discipline could put anger in its place. Anger isn’t a bad thing. It becomes bad when released in a poor fashion. Today, I will be discussing anger. -Specifically, techniques that enhance interpersonal communication and in turn, possibly reducing and managing poorly expressed anger. Now let’s define what is meant by â€Å"anger management†. The term anger management commonly refers to a system of psychological therapeutic techniques and exercises by which someone with excessive or uncontrollable anger can reduce the triggers, degrees, and effects in an angered emotional state. In the paragraphs to follow I will discuss what communication authors, scholars and experts had to say about anger management, including my findings and conclusions drawn from experiments and observations I have conducted and have noted utilizing these techniques. Rationale: Admittedly, I wasn’t going to do my research paper on anger. I had to contemplate. I thought is this something that I have trouble dealing with at times as do the people that are around me. Every time I asked it, in any manner, the answer always remained the same. Why not? So it reeled me in like a fish on a hook. Through my experiments and research paper I hoped to encounter everyday methods to help me release my anger in a constructive way, as I do tend to bottle up feelings inside and then â€Å"blow my top†. I am grateful that I don’t have what is described as an anger â€Å"problem† by any means –as it isn’t frequent- but I do release it improperly at times. Sometimes being referred to as a child since children hold their feelings in and then make the world pay after, I would like to correct that. Furthermore, I had previous knowledge that a lot of research has been done on anger management and I was curious to see what was to be said on this topic since we all deal with angry people every day. Not only do I want to help myself, but I would rather like to help those that I know are less fortunate than I and spread the word to them so their lives could be a little less hectic then what it is. Research: When researching about this topic, I came across the following information by Henry Kellerman. He posted an article stating the following information: Anger all on its own is said to have its own personality. According to Henry Kellerman’s, Ph. D, Anger is the Key, he depicts anger as having, â€Å"six key characteristics. Those characteristics are described as the following: Anger is inborn so it has an aggressive drive. It makes itself expansive; wanting to get bigger and bigger. It wants to burst forth so it has explosive potential. Anger also constantly wants to attack. It has an entitled frame of mind feeling that it has the right to get tough. And lastly, it also sees itself as an empowerment so it eliminates feelings of helplessness. If one could keep in mind th e six main things that anger manifests itself by, then you could begin to learn to how to begin to work with you emotions. Meaning, we change how we see things. More so our perception. When we are angry or upset, we tend to view another’s behavior as, â€Å"controllable, characterological, and permanent. † Saying how you feel, why and what you want and calming down are all ways to prevent unwanted anger. Sometimes we may not be able to control the situations that we’re placed in so we look for ways to change the reaction even when changing the situation may not be possible. Let’s face it. We get angry and sometimes there is nothing we could really do. One way we can learn to lessen anger is by lessening the emotional impact so you would know how to express your anger in a manner that can promote resolution for the situation that triggered the anger in the first place. In my research I have found that anger is an expression of another emotion that lies underneath. In many situations, anger can be linked to intent to preserve personal worth to preserve essential needs, or to preserve basic convictions. Identifying these unmet needs is one of the goals of anger management counseling. Once these needs are identified, you may need to determine how to address those situations and relationships that may lack boundaries, or healthy structure. In the article Anger Management, by Harry Mills, he states that, â€Å"People tend to go through a predictable set of several stages while working through life-changes. Progress through the stages is largely due to a combination of motivation, technique and dedication. Some people move quickly through the stages, while others move more slowly, perhaps even taking a step or two backward before continuing on to complete their change. Since we want to enhance our communication skills, we need to first be able to learn effective anger management techniques which in turn would allow us to recognize the situations that make us angry so that we may be able to change. The four steps he says that can bring you better interpersonal skills are, awareness, preparation, action and maintaining gains. In awareness, the angry person seeks infor mation about anger management; what anger is, how anger affects health and relationships, and how anger can be controlled. In preparation, you make a decision to actually make a change in the way you will express anger. In the Action stage you start making real changes and perform the way you prepared to do. And finally, in the management stage you learn to accept the fact that you are not perfect, that you will make mistakes and act inappropriately and that you can recover from lapses in your behavior when they do occur. Achieving sustained behavior change is a project. It may take multiple attempts and multiple failures before you will achieve this goal. Each time you do lapse into old behavior, you can use the tools and strategies you have learned along the way to help you pick yourself up and recover. Anger Management Anger is an emotion we have all displayed every once in a while. However, when the anger gets out of control it is time to seek therapy. Here are some suggestions on how to handle anger management problems and how cognitive therapy may help. Controlling oneis anger is something we all have to deal with at some point. Yes, we tend to get angry with our spouse, the kids, co-workers and bosses. Or we vent our anger in situations involving motorists, or simply when someone pushes the wrong buttons. Anger management control via cognitive therapy is one way in which we can understand where the anger is coming from and how to effectively deal with any given situation in an appropriate and non-combative manner. In cognitive therapy sessions, certain techniques are utilized. These include relaxation methods and visualization techniques which allow the person to use certain images or words to relax when the anger inside rears its ugly head. For example, road rage has become quite prevalent in our society. One of the methods used in anger management is to have the person visualize an instance wherein they become angry at another motorist, and then use the relaxation methods to rid themselves of that anger. In cognitive therapy, psychologists offer different ways for patients to react to the anger. For example, they may ask the patient to look at a situation in a more appropriate and positive manner instead of flying off the handle in a negative way. There are several ways in which psychologists may use these techniques. The first is assisting their patients to become more aware of their anger. Secondly, they may show the patients how to avoid situations in which they can become angry. Thirdly, teaching patients how to recognize what exactly causes the anger. And finally, offering a plan that the patients can utilize to change the way they react to others and avoid situations that trigger the anger to begin with. The one thing that is emphasized by psychologists is that for any treatment to be effective, it should not entail a person ranting and raving about all of the things that make him or her angry. Instead, focusing on the cues that trigger the anger and utilizing relaxation techniques has been viewed as widely effective. While research is still ongoing to determine the underlying cause of anger, cognitive therapy is one method that is effective in controlling and monitoring such behavior. We all get angry, but it is how we deal with the anger that separates those who need anger management from those who do not. How many of you are guilty of yelling at your kids? If you are a yeller, these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids may provide you with the help you need to change your yelling habits. For anyone who does yell at their kids, you know it’s a hard habit to break. You may be so used to yelling that you don’t even realize you’re doing it. Remember your children will learn more by example than what is told or explained to them. So if you yell a lot, your children are more likely to follow suit. Once you’ve broken that cycle of yelling, you’ll find life as a family is much calmer. Are your children loud? You may have started yelling out of necessity so you would be heard. However, in many cases, yelling is done to release frustrations. No matter the reason for it, many parents who yell are embarrassed and wish things could change. Plan ahead. You know your children are going to frustrate you at some point, so plan ahead how you will handle it. Pay attention to the warning signs such as clenching your teeth or fists, a slight raise to your voice or possibly shaking. * Ask for help. Allow them to give you a signal if your voice begins getting louder. This could be a ‘catch phrase’ which someone not in-the-kn ow won’t understand but you will recognize it as a clue to control yourself. * Develop coping mechanisms. Walk out of the room, take a deep breath or count to ten. Find a coping mechanism that works for you and continue using it when you realize you’re about to yell. Some people snap a rubber band which is around their wrist. * Think about your child’s temper tantrums. Why do they have a meltdown? They’re tired, hungry or frustrated. Are you experiencing the same things? * Pay attention to the times you’re more liable to yell. Perhaps you yell when you’re more stressed than usual. Once you understand when you yell, you’ll be better able to avoid those situations. * Find new ways to get your children’s attention. Don’t yell if your children aren’t paying attention to you. Use a whistle, stand on a chair or try anything out of the ordinary. * If all else fails, seek professional help. Some people have a hard time breaking habits and yelling is one of them. Speak to someone who can hold you accountable or a professional who deals with anger management. They may be able to provide you with the help you need. There are many reasons to stop yelling. It could affect your children’s self-esteem and it causes your blood pressure to rise. Using these easy strategies to stop yelling at your kids, you can change the dynamics of your home from stressful to peaceful. Give it a try and see if these methods work for you. One type of free anger management activity is relaxation, where the individual learns different techniques to help him to relax and calm down before saying or doing anything rash. Deep breathing is one technique individuals can use where they concentrate on breathing deeply in through the nose and out through the mouth, taking a minute to calm down. This breathing should be done through the diaphragm, which means the air should be pulled down toward the gut rather than just through the chest. While breathing, the individual can say a calming word or phrase to himself such as â€Å"calm down† and can picture a soothing scene or person in his mind. Exercise is another free anger management activity that individuals can use to calm down. This does not mean that an individual has to go to a sports gym, but can merely take a time out where he or she walks down the hallway or around the building a coupe of times to get some fresh air, expend some energy, breathe and work to calm down. Another free anger management activity is to work on changing the way a person thinks when he becomes irritated. This includes changing inner thoughts to more constructive patterns such as reminding himself that getting angry does not help or change anything about a situation, only finding a solution or resolution to the situation is helpful. Using a journal or notebook during this phase or reconditioning in free anger management activities can be helpful since some individuals process their thoughts better when written out on paper where they can review them to see which ones are rational and which ones might need to be re-evaluated. In addition to these free anger management activities, it is also wise to plan some fun time into every day so that the individual has time to unwind and let loose of all the burdens that he has been carrying over the course of the day. Many angry people are really at the root stressed out, feeling like they cannot carry any more burdens on their shoulders so that the least irritations seem huge and lead them to anger. Reducing stress also reduces anger in these people and building in personal time can help with this.